Tag Archive for: Love

I Am Who You Say I Am

I Am Who You Say I Am

My daughter was in hysterical sobs when I collected her from school yesterday. She managed to keep everything together until she opened the car door, and then she melted into tears the moment she knew she was safe.

“Mum, I am not good enough,” she howled in desperate agony. “I am a ‘C Team’ player and every other girl in my class is in the ‘A Team’. They are a gang of sporty girls. And I am on the outside. I am just not good enough. I don’t measure up. I try so hard but never seem to get anywhere.” Read more

Listen Carefully When People Say, “I’m Okay”

Listen to Hear

When people respond to your greeting saying they are “Okay,” listen carefully and look in their eyes. They may very well not be okay.

Why do we do that?

Why do we pretend that everything is “Okay” when our hearts are breaking?

I cannot tell you the number of times I have had a good cry in my car, only to get out, put on my glasses, smile and respond with the same greeting response: “I’m Okay thanks, and you?”

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What Is Happiness?

Happiness exists in the understanding that the pain holds just as much importance as the beauty.

I think we’ve been taught from such a young age that happiness is meant to be this big, all-consuming thing. That it is this moment that cracks open our bones, changes our lives and sweeps all of the weight inside of us away. That it is something that is awarded to us, gifted to us by the world. That it is something we are all constantly in pursuit of until we find it.

And so we are always waiting.

Waiting for this experience, this simplifying in life, this ‘aha’ moment where the wounds are all healed, and the growth is all organised neatly within our ribcages, and our hearts aren’t afraid of loving anymore, and the warmth never leaves.

But I don’t think happiness is big or infinite at all.

I think real happiness, true happiness exists in acceptance of the fact that we will always be balancing what is light and dark within ourselves. I think real happiness, true happiness exists in the quiet, in the smallest things. In the morning cup of coffee, in the sound of your parents’ voice on the other end of the phone.

I think real happiness, true happiness is believing that you are meant to be here, that you are meant to take up space in this world.

I think real and true happiness is finding the human beings who take care of you – not in a materialistic way, but rather finding the human beings who take care of your soul, who take care of even the most chaotic parts of you.

I think real happiness, true happiness is all around you at all times, pinned and blooming in things you stopped paying attention to because you were always searching for more. Flowers when you take a stroll on the road, the intensity in the air when you meet someone, and you know they’re going to change your life, your pet cuddling with you after a tiring day, the way your stomach flips when you hear your favourite song, the way your eyelashes feel as they blink across your neck when you’re holding them.

And I don’t think happiness is something you find, or that it is this destination you get to where the night never comes, and you are bulletproof and unaffected by the mayhem. I think the mayhem will always, always exist – we are literally made from it; we wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for the crashing and banging of atoms within this universe.

No, I think happiness exists in the understanding that the pain holds just as much importance as the beauty.

I think happiness exists in finding the things that make us feel known and special and at peace in this world, no matter how small or insignificant they feel and letting them save us.

I think happiness exists in learning how to embrace the dark, in learning how to see it as the very thing that makes us appreciate the light!

 

Source: Unknown.

When You Say Goodbye To A Parent

When you say goodbye to a parent, you are suddenly living in a whole new world.

You are no longer ‘the child’ and regardless of how long you have officially been ‘grown up’ for, you realise you actually never were until this moment. The shock of this adjustment will shake your very core.

When you have finally said goodbye to both your parents, assuming you were lucky enough to have had two. You are an orphan on this earth and that never, ever gets easier to take no matter how old and grey you are yourself and no matter how many children of your own you have.

You see, a part of your body is physically connected to the people that made it and also a part of your soul. When they no longer live, it is as if you are missing something practical that you need – like a finger or an arm. Because really, you are. You are missing your parent and that is something far more necessary than any limb.

And yet the connection is so strong it carries on somehow, no-one knows how exactly. But they are there. In some way, shape or form they are still guiding you if you listen closely enough. You can hear the words they would choose to say to you.

You can feel the warmth of their approval, their smile when a goal is achieved, their all-consuming love filling the air around you when a baby is born they haven’t met.

If you watch your children very closely you will see that they too have a connection with your parents long after they are gone. They will say things that resonate with you because it brings so many memories of the parent you are missing. They will carry on traits, thoughts and sometimes they will even see them in their dreams.

This is not something we can explain.

Love is a very mystical and wondrous entity.

It is far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all and grief, grief is the price of that love. The deeper the love the stronger the grief.

When you say goodbye to a parent, do not forget to connect with that little girl who still lives inside you somewhere.

Take very good care of her, for she, she will be alone and scared.

When you say goodbye to your parents, you lose an identity, a place in the world. When the people who put you on this earth are no longer here, it changes everything.

Look after yourself the way they looked after you and listen out for them when you need it the most.

They never really leave.

 

Source: Donna Ashworth in her book: “I Wish I knew”

On The Death Of A Loved One

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.

I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.

I spoke to you softly as you brushed away a tear,

“It’s me, I haven’t left you, I’m well, I’m fine, I’m here.”

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,

You were thinking of the many things and memories of me.

I was with you at the shops today, your arms were getting sore.

I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care.

I want to re-assure you, that I’m not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.

I gently put my hand on you, I smiled and said, “It’s me.”

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.

I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It’s possible for me, to be so near you everyday.

To say to you with certainty, “I never went away.”

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew…

in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over… I smile and watch you yawning and say,

“Good-night, God bless, I’ll see you in the morning.”

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,

I’ll rush across to greet you and we’ll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.

Be patient, live your journey out…then come home to me.

 

Author: unknown

What Children Do and Don’t Need

As a pediatric therapist for more than 30 years, I have come up with a list of what I believe kids need and don’t need.  I wish I could have a do-over on a few of these.

What Children Do Not Need:

1. Cell phones when they’re in grade school. Over the years, I cannot tell you one good thing that can come from this.

2. Unlimited access to social media. There is very little that is healthy on social media for children and it is getting worse.

3. So many toys that they can’t even think of something to want at birthday or holiday times. Too much of anything leaves children unable to be full.  They become like buckets with holes in them.

4. Televisions in their rooms. Rooms are for sleeping.  Good sleep hygiene is a dying art for too many children.

5. To be able to control the emotional climate of the home. Moody kids should not be allowed to hold the whole house hostage.  If a child wants to be moody, he can go to his room and be moody by himself.  Everyone else need not suffer.

6. Too much indoor time. Our kids have become hermits with social media and high tech games.  It is ruining their social skills. It’s also taking a toll on their physical well-being.

7. Too many activities outside of school. No wonder this generation is so anxiety-ridden.  They are overloaded.  If we want to teach them to take care of themselves as they age, we must teach them to do that by our example and by limiting their extracurricular activities. Scripture even recognizes the need to rest.

8. To be able to disrespect any authority. Even authority that you as a parent dislike or the child dislikes should still be respected.  There will always be an authority in your child’s life even when your child is 50.

9. To always call the shots. Children who get to always choose where to eat, where to play, and what the family does end up being brats.

10. Constant approval and pats on the back. You will not always be around to do this. Children need to learn to be proud of themselves when they do something good whether anyone tells them or not.

What Children Do Need:

1.Rest. They play hard.  Their bodies need rest to grow and develop.

2. Uninterrupted family time. The most important people to a child are those under the same roof. Make family time purposeful and protected.

3. Outdoor play time where they can explore and create. All kids need free time to imagine.

4. Rules and expectations. Be clear. Be concise. And don’t be afraid to give them.

5. Consistent discipline. If a rule is broken, a child needs to know what to expect. All fear is not a bad thing.  There is a fear that can represent respect.

6. Parents who love them and love each other. Security begins here.

7. For you as a parent to say “no” sometimes. Your child does not need a lollipop or a new shirt every time you go to the shops.

8. Hugs. Physical touch affects the development of children.

9. The ability to share their feelings about anything as long as they are respectful.

10. The most precious gift that a parent can give any child is to demonstrate a personal relationship with God and consistently teach that child through your actions what having faith in God really means. In the toughest times of their lives, they will learn in large part to rely on God by the example you display for them.

 

Written By: Cindy Ketron

How Children Explain Love

The problem is:

We look for someone to grow old together,

While the secret is to find someone to stay a child with!

What does Love mean to 4-8 year old kids?

Slow down for a few minutes to read this…💕

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, ‘What does love mean?’ The answers they got were broader, deeper, and more profound than anyone could have ever imagined!

———-

‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore…

So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too.

That’s love.’  Rebecca – age 8

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‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’  Billy – age 4

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‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’  Karl – age 5

———-

‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’ Chrissy – age 6

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‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’ Terri – age 4

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‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.’  Danny – age 8

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‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and just listen.’

Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

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‘If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.’ Nikka – age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet)

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‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.’ Noelle – age 7

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‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’ Tommy – age 6

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‘During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that.

I wasn’t scared anymore.’ Cindy – age 8

———-

‘My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.’ Clare – age 6

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‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’ Elaine – age 5

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‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’  Chris – age 7

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‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’ Mary Ann – age 4

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‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.’  Lauren – age 4

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‘When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’

(what an image!) Karen – age 7

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‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross…’  Mark – age 6

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‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.

People forget.’ Jessica – age 8

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And the final one:

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, ‘Nothing, I just helped him cry.’ (this made me cry!)

Now, go and spread love like butter!

And then go be a child again today!

The Easter Hallelujah

Allow the beauty and the words of this Easter Hallelujah to move your heart my friend. You are loved.

Be A Mr Jensen

Be the person that seeks out someone’s strengths and not their weaknesses. Your observations may just change their life. This is a heart warming true life story of a teacher who changed the trajectory of a child’s life by simply observing what made him unique. That child has grown up to achieve remarkable things all because of the wisdom of one man: Mr Jensen.

Tag Archive for: Love