Tag Archive for: life’s lessons

When Beauty Becomes A Background, It’s Time To Pause

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Years ago, I had a very sad conversation with an elderly lady. We didn’t talk about loss or tragedy, instead, we talked about beauty.

The woman’s sister lived in one of the most scenic parts of the country that comes with harsh winters. When I asked her if the stunning mountains and lakes make up for the cold, she replied, “My sister says it all just becomes the background.”

I forgot about that exchange until recently. I was driving my youngest to school and the panoramic mountain views that normally make me gasp when we reach the top of the hill – didn’t.

The beauty became the background. It was a wake-up call. A warning sign. Something was off.

Life is complicated. There are schedules to manage, deadlines to meet and laundry always in need of folding. And when our calendars, our minds and our hearts get too cluttered it’s easy to miss the beauty all around us.

When our kids giggles don’t make us pause and say a quick prayer of thanks,

when our spouse touches the small of our back and we can’t feel that quick burst of love,

or when we can’t see the presence of the Divine in the nearby wheat field, the swaying palm trees, or the mountains,

it’s time to create a pause. It’s time to look inwards and upwards. It’s time to start paying attention once more.

Because there is no line between the secular and the sacred. It’s all intertwined. The finger prints of God mark it all.

Our job is to recognize it. We are meant to recognize the Divine within our selves and in each other. In nature and in all the good things He inspired people to create.

And so in between pick-ups and drop-off’s, in between assignments and loads of laundry, I will create pause. I will sit in awe and thank God for life’s beauty. I will slip up at times. But I will keep trying.

Because I don’t want to become an old woman who let the beauty of her life become the background.

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Content Written by: @jillianbenfieldblog

Are You Running From Death or Towards Life?

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If you’re reading this, this fu$king brain cancer probably got me.

But let me be crystal clear while I’m able: I did not ”lose a battle” against cancer. This is a ridiculous, steamy pile of horse shit that society has dumped on cancer patients. Western medicine, and Western culture, especially, is so uncomfortable talking about death that instead it created this “battle” analogy that basically shames people who die from cancer.

News flash: None of us gets out alive from this rodeo called life.

There is no shame in dying from cancer – or any serious illness. And it doesn’t need to be a battle. It’s a transition that each of us will go through.

I was asked by a shaman, whom I spoke to after my second brain surgery, “Are you running towards life or running away from death?”

Whoa! That got my attention.

There’s a BIG difference. I got it wrong more often than not.

Don’t let fear fuel your choices. Live fearlessly. Run TOWARDS life. Don’t worry about what people will think. Trust me, it doesn’t matter.

Focus on you. Be true to yourself. Be your own best friend. People who tell you you’re selfish are not your people. If the voice in your head says these unkind things, get a new voice. Honor your mental health and seek out a good therapist with the same vigor you’d search for a romantic partner.

Speaking of, be intentional about cultivating friendships that lift you up. As those friendships grow and change, don’t overlook them while you search for that “great love of your life.” (No, I’m not suggesting you sleep with your bestie. But you do you!)

Another unhelpful message that we get from society is that we need a “love of our life,” as a romantic partner.

Single and childless when I was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, I looked around my life and came up sputtering and sobbing from the wave of grief washed over me. I thought I’d be doing this alone… no husband, no kids, no “great love.”

How wrong I was. At the first appointment with my neuro oncologists, one of the nurses diligently hauled in chair after chair for the great loves of my life who came with me that horrible day and many days after that.

I sat and listened while the doctor explained the 12-month treatment plan, focusing on my breathing, then looked around the room…. filled with great loves of my life: incredible women friends whom I had met at various stages of my life.

Surround yourself with people who contradict that unkind voice, people who see your light, and remind you who you are: an amazing soul.

Learn how to receive these reflections from your people. Because they are speaking the Truth.

Love yourself, no matter how weird and silly it might feel. Every morning, give yourself a hug before your feet hit the floor. Look deeply into your eyes in a mirror. Say to yourself, out loud, “I trust you.” That voice in your head might say you’re a dork. Ignore it.

As I prepare to leave this body and embark on this mysterious journey of my soul, I hope these observations from my deathbed are somehow useful.

What I know, deep in my bones, is that learning to love myself has led me to be able to say this: I’m so proud of how I lived.

May you, dear reader, feel the same when you head out on your soul journey, too. Until then, enjoy the ride. And always eat dessert first, especially if there’s pie!

Source: Written by Kerri Grote before she grew her wings

Image: Kerri Grote Facebook page

Rest in peace beautiful lady and thank you for your courage and words of wisdom.

Showing Up For Friends…..Even in Dark Days

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It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn’t heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore’s stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore.

“Hello Eeyore,” said Pooh.

“Hello Pooh. Hello Piglet,” said Eeyore, in a glum sounding voice.

“We just thought we’d check in on you,” said Piglet, “because we hadn’t heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay.”

Eeyore was silent for a moment. “Am I okay?” he asked, eventually. “Well, I don’t know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That’s what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather sad, and alone, and not much fun to be around at all. Which is why I haven’t bothered you. Because you wouldn’t want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is sad, and alone, and not much fun to be around at all, would you now.”

Pooh looked and Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house.

Eeyore looked at them in surprise. “What are you doing?”

“We’re sitting here with you,” said Pooh, “because we are your friends. And true friends don’t care if someone is feeling sad, or alone, or not much fun to be around at all. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are.”

“Oh,” said Eeyore. “Oh.”

And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better. Because Pooh and Piglet were there. No more; no less.

Source: AA Milne and E.H Shepard