Even Super Mum’s Get Tired
To all the exhausted Mum’s out there, I want to remind you that you are doing a great job. Even Super-Mum’s get tired. Of course we know that this too shall pass. We know we can do hard things. We know that time is fleeting and that we need to “savor every moment” but sometimes, it’s okay to just wallow in the mud of exhaustion and proclaim from your roof rafters that you are as tired as the wings of a bird.
Sprinting on Empty
Today I was overwhelmed with mum responsibilities. Forget running on empty. I was sprinting. I know I have many, many things to be grateful for. I am not looking for comparisons to prove just how incredibly insignificant my first world problems are. I am just saying, that sometimes the everyday responsibilities and demands that come with being a mum can be exhausting.
I am tired of meal planning. Of making lunch boxes. Of lifting and carrying. Of coaching and encouraging. Of stopping sibling arguments. Of managing school schedules, projects and extra mural activities. I am tired of cleaning up the endless mess that comes with kids. I am tired of doing homework which is meant to just be reading but in reality ends up taking at least 90 minutes per day.
And just when I think I have conquered my many mum mountains and have all my ducks in a row, my daughter asks gently:
“Why can’t you look as glamorous as other mums?”
There go the ducks, which my daughter has just reminded me are in fact ugly ducklings! I am the ugly duckling in a sea of mom swans.
Tired of Asking, Asking, Asking
I am tired of asking and asking and asking, multiple times a day, and my attempts simply fall on deaf ears. It’s only when the going gets tough, that the tough EVENTUALLY get going.
“Kids please go and brush your teeth…….”
Outside I can hear the trees swaying in the wind and the crickets screeching to find a mate. Inside the house, no one budges an inch.
“Guys, I have already asked you before, PLEASE go and brush your teeth…..”
There are murmurings that I have been heard and that they are going to make a move at some point in their lives. I am filled with the same hope that Moses had waiting for The Red Sea to part. Seconds pass. Minutes pass. There is no movement other than the geckos who know what is coming next and instinctively run for cover.
“FOR THE LAST #@&%# TIME, WILL YOU GO AND BRUSH YOUR #&%!$# TEETH!!!”
Suddenly Armageddon is upon us and kids fly off in every direction as if I have pressed the eject button from a plane and they realize they have been catapulted from safety, without a parachute, and are about to land SPLAT on the looming and treacherous ground below them.
We finally have lift off but now we equally have a red hot, fiery Mum which is not the best for harmony in the home. And no, this doesn’t only happen twice a day when it’s teeth brushing time. It happens all day. All day! From dawn to dusk. Welcome to the reality of being a Mum.
Remember What Life Was Like Before Kids???
Ahhh those days when I thought I had a lot on my plate! Ha ha ha life before kids was a walk in the park. I used to sit ALONE in an air conditioned office. I would order a cappuccino and drink the whole thing while it was HOT! I used to dress in heels and glamorous clothes for board meeting where I discussed business stuff and was MENTALLY STIMULATED. I was PRAISED for my work and THANKED for my efforts. I was given bonuses and annual raises! Blimey I haven’t had either of those in 5 years! Stimulation! Praise! Reward! Oh good gracious. I am salivating!
Sadly there is none of that in my Mom world now. At home the customer complaints line blocks out any compliments and turns up the volume on what I have done wrong. There is no, “Thank you for my lunch box”. Instead it’s “Why did you put rocket on my sandwich?!” (which by the way was crunchy lettuce but tomorrow you are welcome to make your own lunch box!)
You Are Allowed Tired Days
Most of the time, Mum demands and challenges are faced with energy, enthusiasm and laughter. But there are days when it all just feels too much. My wonderful husband can see when the engine has been revved to exhaustion. Not that it’s hard to spot the freaking mad woman in the house. And that’s when I fall even more in love with my gentle and ever so practical husband.
He takes the reigns and he lets me slink off like a wounded hyena, close the bedroom door and take some time to pause in my dark den of self-pity and frustration.
After a few minutes, he opens the door and reminds me: “It’s okay to have tired days. You are a great Mum. The kids need to know that even Super-Mum’s get tired.”
Man I love him for his comment.
The most rewarding job in the world can also often be the most exhausting job in the world. Would I change my life and go back to the days before kids? Hell no, I wouldn’t change my chaotic and crazy life for all the Champagne in France. My messy kiddy life is the best thing that ever happened to me. But it’s also okay to sometimes be tired of the responsibilities that come with being a Mum.
So for now, let me wallow in the mud of exhaustion. Tomorrow I will rise with the birds before dawn. I will flap my wings and fly around with gusto and joy meeting the demands that come with a new day. But right now, this ugly duckling needs to rest.